


I’m the boss (that leads you)

by youngho



Series: We don't chase after wons [1]
Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Gangsters, Guns, M/M, Mafia NCT, Minor Injuries, Minor Violence, Tattoos
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-27
Updated: 2019-05-27
Packaged: 2020-03-20 07:58:26
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 17,789
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18988522
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/youngho/pseuds/youngho
Summary: Taeyong spends his life being groomed to become the next boss of the Neo Family. Johnny is always there for him, supporting him, believing in him, holding him up when even Taeyong thinks he can't make it.





	I’m the boss (that leads you)

**Author's Note:**

> **Some important author's notes:** This is a very indulgent part of my mafia au, so it really doesn't have a plot. Don't let the word count fool you. I just wanted mafia!au johnyong, and so, I wrote it 😬. Here's [the playlist](https://open.spotify.com/user/ac10111/playlist/2SqZTYb0DX1FGESNoMJV0w?si=XCWMJiaTQguXjDIHbCrdMQ) that helped me write this monster.
> 
> Also, in Korea, their Mafia families are labelled with a -파 (pa) suffix, so technically, Taeyong's mafia family is "네요파 (Ne-yo pa)." 
> 
> Most of what I know about mafias and gangsters came from Japanese BL mangas, I did do Some research, but ugh, idk? i totally winged it. (It comes with the whole being indulgent, Im Sorry.)
> 
> Title of the series comes from Regular and title of the fic(s) come from Boss 🤪🤙

Taeyong feels the weight of his father's hand on his shoulder, a reassuring presence amongst the scary looking men in the room. They circle his father with dark looks in their eyes and the stench of something akin to rust clinging to their clothes.

"Boss," a deep voice emerges from the scariest man in the room. He has a long dark scar that keeps his left eye closed and shut. Taeyong always wonders if it hurts. "They had nothing left, nothing we could use to pay off their debt, but we did find... uh, something." The tall man, with arms so thick with muscle that they rival Taeyong's neck, gestures to one of the men beside him.

Taeyong's father tightens his hold on his shoulder. "Yes, Yunho, what is it?" Taeyong's heartbeat quickens in his chest.

The man standing beside Yunho, Changmin, looks behind him and pushes forward a child. Taeyong steps back in surprise at the sight of the child before him. His hair is a mess, matted together all over his face, and his clothes are marred with dirt. Taeyong thinks it's oil.

The child doesn't look up or meet their eyes. His fingers play with the hem of his ruined shirt.

"Did he..." his father starts to ask.

"Yes," Yunho replies too quickly. There's a solemn tone to his voice, an almost unfamiliar hoarseness that makes Taeyong's heart race.

His father squeezes his shoulder and pulls him back to whisper into his ear. "Taeyong-ah," he says, in that kind voice that chased away scary monsters. "Why don't you go ask him for his name?"

Taeyong looks at the boy and then back to his father. His father flashes Taeyong an encouraging smile. "Go on. Yunho and the boys have something they need to tell me."

"Okay." Taeyong's throat is almost dry, but he does as he's told. Yunho and some of the men step away from the child, moving closer to his father. Only Changmin sticks around to watch them.

"Hi," Taeyong says in a hushed voice.

The child before him flinches, and an apology quickly falls away from Taeyong's lips. He looks to his dad for help, but all he does is wink at Taeyong and goes back to speaking with Yunho. In the distance, he hears his father say, "I've said it a million times, Seokhyun, we are _not_ going to deal in human trafficking."

Taeyong returns his attention back to the boy, ignoring his father's angry whispers and threats. He doesn't understand any of it, but his family says one day he will, so there will be time for that in the future. For now, he looks back at the boy and says, "I'm Taeyong, what's your name?"

The kid finally looks up, eyes peeking at Taeyong through his fringe. He quickly looks down again, but this time he mutters, "Johnny."

"Jya ni?"

Changmin coughs from beside them, but Taeyong suspects it might have been a laugh, so he pouts.

"Johnny," the kid—Jyani?—repeats, a little louder and his syllables a little clearer. It still sounds a little weird, so Taeyong tests out the sound and word for himself.

"Jyan ni?"

This time Johnny snorts, and he finally meets Taeyong's eyes, even if for only a second. "Yeah, that's fine."

"I'm sorry I can't get your name right," he says. "But I really like it."

"If you like, uhm, you can call me by my Korean name, it's Youngho."

"Youngho." The name slips off Taeyong's lips easily. "Jyani is cool, but I like Youngho better." Taeyong flashes him a smile. "I hope we can become friends."

Johnny looks surprised by his offer, so Taeyong holds out his hand, like his father has told him to do when he's supposed to finish up _"a deal"_ , and hopes Johnny sees his sincerity. Johnny looks to his left and right, then up at Taeyong's father before looking at the hand offered to him. He takes it in his own hand before shaking it up and down slowly.

"Great! Now we're friends." Taeyong smiles at Johnny and then turns to his father to see if he did the right thing. The proud smile on his father's face is the only sign he needs.

When Changmin gets called forward by his father, leaving him alone with Johnny, Taeyong turns to Johnny and shows him his pinky. "Daddy told me not to do this but because you're my friend now, promise me we'll be friends forever?"

Johnny looks stricken with panic. He looks up again, to Taeyong's father, but when Taeyong turns around to look, his father is still talking with his men. Johnny must have seen something in his father because he looks back at Taeyong's pinky, an unsure expression on his face before Johnny links his own around it.

Taeyong barely notices this as he presses his thumb towards Johnny's. "Now you'll have to stay by my side forever."

Johnny's smile is only a little unsure, watching their fingers pull apart.

Before Taeyong can give Johnny a smile or pat him on the back, his father walks towards them and puts a hand on his shoulder. Johnny stiffens up in front of Taeyong and starts looking down at his feet again.

"Taeyong-ah," his father says in that gentle and soft voice. "Why don't you go back to your room?"

"But daddy, I wanna stay." Taeyong pouts.

His father chuckles and ruffles his hair. "Come on, it's okay. Changmin will take you back to your room. We just have to talk to Little Johnny over here, okay? You can play with him tomorrow."

Johnny flinches, but Taeyong's too distracted to notice.

"Okay." And just like that, Taeyong is ushered out of the room, Changmin right behind him. He takes one last look at his father's office, watching as Johnny tenses up when Taeyong's father puts a hand on his shoulder. The doors close before he can see or hear what's going on.

"Is Youngho gonna be okay?" Taeyong asks when he's finally in his room.

"Yes, he will. Your father just has something to tell him. Don't worry, you'll see him tomorrow." Changmin gives him a warm smile and ruffles his hair.

Once Taeyong is all alone in his room, he frowns. He wonders if he really will see Johnny again because he's met people in his dad's office, and most of the time, when he gets sent back to his room early, the people he meets never come out.

When he's rolled in bed for the nth, he looks out his window and sees a shooting star. He's been taught not to wish on stars either, but this time, he makes an exception. He closes his eyes and says, "Please let me see Youngho again. Pretty please."

 

* * *

 

The next morning finds Taeyong out of bed and into the dining hall. His father clicks his tongue at Taeyong's pajamas, but his mother just coos at his excitement.

"What's got you so excited?" she asks, encouraging him to take a seat so he can eat his breakfast.

"Where's Youngho?" he asks as someone brings him a bowl of rice and side dishes.

"Youngho?" His mother looks from Taeyong to his father. "Did you mean Johnny from last night?"

Taeyong nods eagerly because his mouth is filled with rice.

Taeyong's father smiles and pats him on the head. "He must be sleeping. He'll come down soon, so why don't you slow down and wait for him?"

"Yesh jadge," he says over a mouthful.

"Now, now, no talking when your mouth is full."

Taeyong gives his mother an apologetic look and slows down his pace of eating. But even as he eats as slowly as possible, Johnny still doesn't come. He looks out into the hall, waiting for any sign of him to show up. His parents eventually leave for work, kissing him on the cheek and ruffling his hair goodbye. His dad even leaves him with his bodyguard, Siwon, but still, Johnny doesn't come.

"Siwon hyung," Taeyong asks, halfway through eating his breakfast. It's been a while now, and his bowl of rice is already finished. "Where's Youngho?"

Siwon clears his throat and approaches Taeyong carefully. "I think he's still sleeping, Taeyongie. It was pretty late last night when he got to the mansion. Why don't you finish up your kimbap, and as soon as he wakes up, I'll make sure to tell him to come to your room. How does that sound?"

Taeyong pouts. "Okay. It's just that, what if he doesn't come back, you know? Lots of people don't come back once they go into daddy's office."

Siwon pauses for a minute before putting on his best, reassuring smile. "Not this time. I'm sure Johnny's just sleeping, if he's not already getting ready to meet you." Siwon squeezes his shoulder to comfort him, but Taeyong doesn't feel any better. He starts to finish his kimbap but without the enthusiasm he had when he first had them. He tells himself it's because they're cold and don't taste the same.

He's in the middle of slicing pajeon, with the triangle of the pancake barely formed, when Siwon taps him on the shoulder.

"Taeyongie," Siwon whispers, "look up."

 Taeyong does as he's told, and he drops the chopsticks he's holding. Before him is a dark haired boy, his hair dry and cut shorter than it was last night. Taeyong can see his face better, much clearer than he did last night. He's wearing clean clothes as well, a white dress shirt and some dark pants.

"Youngho!" Taeyong jumps off the dining chair, knocking the table in his haste, and stops right in front of Johnny. "You're here."

Johnny gives Yunho, who's standing right beside him, a quick look, but Yunho just pats him on the back and steps away. Johnny gives Taeyong an unsure smile then. "I, yeah; I was told to stay here."

"Really? Like for good?"

Johnny shrugs, so Taeyong looks to Yunho for an answer. Yunho steps forward, bends down to level with both him and Johnny.

"Your father says Johnny will be living here from now on. He hopes that you two can remain good friends for as long as you live because Johnny, here," Yunho pats Johnny on the shoulders, "will be working for the family in the future, as your bodyguard, and hopefully, your right hand man." He stands up, puts his free hand on Taeyong's shoulder and squeezes both his and Johnny's shoulders. The flinch Johnny makes doesn't escape Taeyong's notice, but he decides to ignore it.

"Can he still be my friend?" Taeyong asks.

"You'll have to ask him." Yunho's smile is kind, and so, Taeyong asks.

"Can we still be friends?" Without his father around, Taeyong brings up his pinky finger to Johnny once more.

Johnny looks at Taeyong and then at Yunho before bringing out his own pinky and wrapping it around Taeyong's.

"Friends," he says, voice hoarse and soft.

"Forever," Taeyong completes.

 

* * *

 

"Taeyong. Taeyong, wake up."

Taeyong blinks up to find Johnny looking down at him. Johnny still has a tight grip on his shoulder, and he shakes it away. "What time is it?"

"A little after 6. Get up or we'll be late for school."

Taeyong flops back down on his bed, but Johnny throws a pillow right at his face. "Come on, Taeyong, get up. You can't skip any more classes or else you'll have to repeat a grade."

Taeyong groans into the pillow. When his eyes close, remnants of his dream come to mind. He pulls the pillow off his face and watches Johnny prepare his uniform and backpack. "I dreamed about when we first met," he says out of the blue.

Johnny chuckles. "Yeah? How was it? Did you remember how cute I was?"

Taeyong scoffs. "You were cute alright, but you were scared shitless by my dad and his men."

Johnny laughs, loud enough that it wakes Taeyong up. "You'd be scared by your dad too if he wasn't your dad, I tell you. Your dad's just too… kind when it comes to you."

Taeyong pauses. He's old enough to know now that his father hadn't always been the good businessman he'd thought of. "Was my dad… ever mean to you?" Johnny turns to find that Taeyong is serious with his question. He shakes his head and gives Taeyong a smile.

"No, don't worry. Your dad was never mean to me," and before Taeyong can even think to ask, he adds, "and his men too. They're all, uh, surprisingly kind. They're really like my family. You're all like my family." Taeyong watches Johnny focus on the clothes in his hand before locking eyes with Taeyong. He can see the sincerity in them and knows that he has nothing to worry about.

"Okay, that's good to know." Taeyong gets up from his bed. He puts his hands on Johnny's shoulders and squeezes. "If anyone ever hurts you, you tell me okay? Even if it's my dad, I'll crush them."

Johnny chuckles. "You'll have to inherit the family first before you can do that. And to inherit the family, you'll have to graduate."

"Ugh, I hate you. I'm going to shower now."

As Johnny continues preparing Taeyong's things, Taeyong stops and looks back at Johnny's strong and broad shoulders. He's grown taller than Taeyong, reaching a height that Taeyong can only ever dream of. He's gotten stronger as well, with his daily training. So much has changed in the years that have passed. It's as if Taeyong blinked and suddenly, they're in high school.

 

* * *

 

"By the way," Johnny starts while he opens the door for Taeyong, "we're stopping by to pick up Doyoung from his house. Your father says, since we're all in the same class this year, he'll be riding with us every day."

"Ugh," Taeyong exaggerates his groan, making sure it’s throaty as he slumps back on the leather covered seats of the car.

"He's not that bad," Johnny says with a chuckle.

"The guy seriously skipped a grade just so he could show my dad that he's the one worthy of leading the family. He competes with me, _us,_ every year, trying to get the best grades out of the whole class. Tell me again why he's not _that bad_ ," Taeyong complains, emphasizing his annoyance with air quotes on "that bad."

"Come on, don't pout." Johnny ruffles his hair, giving Taeyong butterflies in his stomach.

"You just think that because _you_ are actually the best in our entire year, and so, he's not a _threat_ to you."

"He's no threat to you either. That is," Johnny pauses and looks back to the front seats. Changmin and Siwon haven't said a word, but they both know that they're listening. Johnny lowers his voice when he continues. "That is, if you even want to inherit the family business."

Taeyong draws back, surprised at Johnny's insinuation. Johnny takes one look at Taeyong and apologizes. "Sorry, I mean, yeah, you just never told me if it was something you wanted to do or not."

The statement turns Taeyong speechless. _Want. Wanted._ Taeyong hasn't even thought about a reality where he doesn't inherit the family business. He's been told all his life that the Neo Family would be his as soon as he came of age. That’s why he hates that Doyoung and his family are trying to steal it from under their noses… right?

"I, no. It’s okay. I—"

Changmin clears his throat, and both Taeyong and Johnny catch the sharp look in his eyes from the rearview mirror. "We're here," is all he says. No sooner than a second later does Kim Doyoung pull open the passenger side door.

"Good morning," Doyoung says with a wide, bright smile.

 _God, I hate that face,_ Taeyong thinks.

Johnny masks a chuckle with a cough, and Taeyong knows that he must have a comical expression. It only makes Taeyong frown even more. When Doyoung has settled in the car and Changmin has stepped on the gas, Johnny slides his hand across the leather seats and holds Taeyong's hand. They share a look that tells them their conversation isn't over, that tells Taeyong, _no matter what, I'm here for you._ Taeyong just isn't sure Johnny will still mean it if Taeyong realizes he doesn't want to be the next boss of the Neo Family.

 

* * *

 

School is one of Taeyong's reprieves. In SM Private Academy, Taeyong can feel like one of the kids, can pretend that his father is just a rich businessman, can go along with his clique of spoiled rich kids. In SMPA, there are no underlings to keep watch of his every move, no midlevel gangsters to boss around, and no high ranking family members trying to kiss his ass to try and get on his father's good graces.

"Taeyong!" Yuta, the Japanese exchange student, greets, arm sliding over his shoulders easily. "Guess this really isn't your year, huh?" He crudely gestures to Doyoung who's taken a seat in the front row.

"Knock it off, Nakamoto." There's no heat to his words, so Yuta knows he isn't crossing any lines.

"Scared he's gonna take the _family business_ right from under your nose? He _does_ have better grades than you." This time, Taeyong elbows him in the stomach. Johnny laughs from behind them.

Amongst his friends, Nakamoto Yuta is the only one who knows about Taeyong's family background, what with Yuta being the _wakagashira_[1](https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/waka_gashira) to his own family's _yakuza_[2](https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/yakuza#English). The moment they introduced themselves back in freshman year, they both knew what families they belonged to.

Every year, Taeyong thinks it's a shame that Yuta has his own yakuza to run back in Japan when he graduates high school. He was the only one Taeyong deemed cunning enough to be recruited into his family. At least, he could settle for an alliance, the details of which he'd have to settle and flesh out once he took his father's position… _if you even take it,_ a sly voice in his head says, one that sounds suspiciously like Doyoung's.

"You know, grades aren't the only factor to consider when inheriting a family _business_ ," Taeyong says, raising his voice to catch Doyoung's attention. "It’s also necessary to have communication skills and the ability to plan and conduct strategic business plans," he lowers his voice when he says the final point, moving back enough so that he's standing right beside Doyoung. "And your ability to _kill_." Doyoung's entire upper body tenses, and Taeyong smirks on his way back to his desk.

"Damn, Lee Taeyong, you're ruthless!" Yuta claps him on the back. He leans down to whisper in his ear, "I like it."

Sehun and Jongin walk in just as the murmurs of their gossiping classmates die down. They're typical chaebols who greet Taeyong, Yuta and Johnny with innocent smiles. Taeyong knows he could never recruit Sehun and Jongin. They're too soft for his kind of world. They have dreams of being artists, of coloring the world in their beauty. Taeyong wouldn't take that away from them.

Sehun and Jongin talk about their summer vacation—the places they went to, the things they did and parties they'd attended. Johnny and Taeyong share a secretive smile. They had already coordinated the things they did for the summer: martial arts lessons, a truth; a trip back to the US for Johnny, a lie; trips all over Korea to accompany Taeyong's father's business meetings for Taeyong, a half-lie. The stories easily fall from their lips, and when Sehun and Jongin eat it up, he and Johnny consider it a success.

The bell rings in the middle of Yuta's elaborate tale of his summer vacation, right at the part where he had found a corpse late one night during his "hiking trip" in Osaka. Taeyong doesn't want to know what parts of that story are lies or truths. Their teacher comes in following the echoes of the bell, and thus begins Taeyong's senior year in high school.

Taeyong does his best to listen in class, taking notes whenever he has to. It's not that Taeyong is stupid, but he's not smart like Johnny or Doyoung. He has to exert more effort into his studies to get better grades and now that Doyoung is in the same class, his father is expecting better results.

When lunch rolls around, Taeyong finally feels like he can breathe again. Johnny goes to his table and taps twice, a signal that they'd established when they would eat together alone. They both decline to eat with their friends and make their way up to the roof.

The cool spring air feels good on Taeyong's skin. Being on the roof gives him a sense of freedom that he doesn't get anywhere else in the school. Here, there is no Changmin or Siwon, no teachers or eavesdropping classmates. On this roof, there is just him.

"Taeyong."

And Johnny.

Despite being by Taeyong's side because of his father's orders, Johnny is more than just a watchman, a bodyguard. He's Taeyong's friend, someone he can rely on, someone who will look at Taeyong and _see_ Taeyong, not the heir to the Neo Family.

Taeyong takes a seat beside Johnny, to the side of the door where it gives them shade from the afternoon sun. Johnny hands him his lunch then, the tupperware already opened and chopsticks ready.

"Thanks."

"No prob." Before Taeyong can even position his chopsticks right, Johnny is already asking, "So, do you really wanna be the next boss after your dad?"

Taeyong frowns. "I, I don't know. I’ve never really thought of it, you know? Never really had time to think about what I wanted to do with all the things I had to do for the family. Even now, in class, I'm thinking about what kind of connections I can make for the family. It's like, ingrained in me that I'm gonna be the boss and any other thought besides that is, like, beyond my comprehension. Does that make sense?"

"Yeah, I guess. I just thought that, I feel like if it was you and your dad, he'd let you do whatever you wanted. And even if you didn't want to take over the family, Doyoung's there, and he's capable."

Taeyong's frown deepens at the mention of Doyoung's name. "If I ever think about not inheriting the business, I want _you_ to be the next boss. There's just no point if it's not someone our family trusts."

"You mean someone _you_ trust. Doyoung _actually_ has a pretty good rep within the family, but that's besides the point. I don't wanna become the next boss. I'm perfectly happy where I am." Johnny gives him a wide smile, one that makes Taeyong's heart skip a beat.

"You know they're grooming you to be the next boss' right-hand man, right? So that means, if I don't wanna be the boss, you'll end up serving someone else."

The smile quickly falls from Johnny's face, his lips turning downwards and brows furrowing until he's shuddering. "I hadn't thought of that."

Taeyong focuses on his lunchbox, his chopsticks poking at the rice. "Would you support me if, all of a sudden, I wanted to be a dancer?"

The silence stretches between them, and it feels like an eternity before Johnny clears his throat. "Yeah, I would." It sounds surprisingly confident. "Maybe I'll even turn to dancing, so I can always be with you." Johnny's smile is soft, sweet, filled with promises that Taeyong knows Johnny will fight to keep.

"Don't worry, I don't want to be a dancer."

"Well, what do you want to be?"

"I don't know. I don't think I'll ever know. But enough about me, what about you? What do you wanna do? I know that you feel somewhat indebted to my family, but if you really wanna leave, wanna do something else, I promise to do everything in my power to get you out."

Johnny's soft chuckle echoes, rings in Taeyong's ears like a melody he can play over and over again. Johnny reaches out to hold Taeyong's hand, prying his fingers apart so Johnny can slot his own fingers in the spaces in between. A perfect fit. "Wherever you are, whatever you do, whatever you want," Johnny pauses and looks into Taeyong's eyes as he says, "that's what I want."

Taeyong squeezes the hand in his, and he knows, in that moment, that he feels the same, and he tries to convey this without words, not knowing how to say it. When the expression on Johnny's face turns soft, the curl of his lips more definite, he knows that Johnny understands. They want the same thing, and whatever path Taeyong chooses, Johnny will always be by his side.

 

* * *

 

At the end of graduation, Taeyong and Johnny bid Yuta goodbye with him going back to Japan to inherit his own yakuza. Jongin leaves the country a day after to pursue a career in ballet, and Sehun stays in Seoul to study business. Once all the goodbyes are said and done, Taeyong meets with his father and declares, "Please train me to be the next head of the family."

The proud smile on his father's face tells him he made the right decision. But it is the look of pride and adoration on Johnny's face that assures Taeyong he was made to be the boss.

 

* * *

 

The first thing Taeyong's father teaches him is, "Always think of the family, Taeyong. As the heir, you think about the present you want to live in, the future changes you wanna make and the principles you wanna live by. But most importantly, family always come first."

Taeyong starts his day by waking up at 5 in the morning, awakened by Johnny's expert technique, and reciting his father's words, using it as his guide. He gets up almost instantly, bathes and wears one of his finer suits. At 5:30 a.m., he joins his father for breakfast where he and Jung Yunho, his father's right hand-man, give them the agenda for the day.

For today, they are to inspect land and properties currently owned by NCT Corp., their family's legal business name, and decide what to do with them. In the afternoon, Taeyong breaks away from his father's schedule for his martial arts and target practice. Then at night, he joins his father on a survey of clubs, bars and territories that belong to them or have been offered to them as collateral.

Taeyong's days are filled with business jargon, high ranking members of NCT Corp. introducing newly inducted members, and even the occasional roughhousing between drunkards and his bodyguards. Johnny is the only constant in his busy schedule, the ever reliable support that Taeyong needs to keep going.

He has known, from day one, that this wouldn't be easy, but night after night of bars, booze and blood is beginning to take its toll. It's already been a month, but Taeyong still can't get used to his father's lifestyle, and there are days where his father can't go home to handle the little gaffes their underlings occasionally make.

 _Do I really have what it takes?_ Taeyong asks himself, and not for the first time. He has yet to really see the extent of his father's power, his business and control, but Taeyong already can't wrap his head around it. The business aspect of their mafia family is hard enough on its own, with all the minute details and contracts and red tape he has to consider. On top of it all are the loopholes that he has yet to fully see in all its glory. Taeyong's head swirls at just the thought of it.

His father has decided to keep most of the _bloody_ stuff away for a while, just until Taeyong fully understands and can start stepping around the legal aspects of the trade. Taeyong has to commend his father for the idea but also wonders if he'll ever get to that point.

Taeyong sighs and gets up from his bed. He checks his phone for any messages and catches his reminder that tells him his first day of university will be starting in a month. A groan slips past his lips, and he throws his phone away.

A knock on his door disrupts his thoughts, and Johnny appears almost instantly.

"Youngho," Taeyong says, somewhat relieved to see his good friend.

"I brought you something." Johnny has a tray in his hands, carrying a mug of something warm. "It's tea. To help you sleep."

"Thanks." Taeyong smiles at the warm cup before taking a tentative sip.

"So, what's got you all," Johnny looks him up and down, and Taeyong only feels slightly exposed, "pensive?"

Taeyong groans again, and he puts his cup of tea down a little harsher than necessary. "Just been thinking if I'm suited to inherit my father's position. There were just so many things I didn't know, and now that I'm learning them all, it's like nothing sticks, y'know?"

Johnny hums as he pulls Taeyong to sit in between his legs. He places his hands on Taeyong's shoulders and starts to massage the tension out of Taeyong's muscles, soothing the aches and helping Taeyong relax. A soft moan slips out from Taeyong's lips. It makes Johnny smile.

"I think you're doing just fine," Johnny whispers in an almost singsong melody, in tune with the movement of his hands. "You should've seen the look on your dad's face when he brought you to sit in on that meeting and asked you what you thought about it. He looked so proud."

Taeyong groans. He remembers the moment well, but he doesn't remember his father looking proud. Was he even looking at his father? He can't remember.

"That's not important," Taeyong dismisses. "If I don't start understanding how the Neo Family works then that proud look's gonna disappear." Taeyong tenses again, but Johnny is quick with his hands, squeezing and pressing against Taeyong's back and shoulders.

The movement pulls out a deep and guttural groan from Taeyong—it hurts but ultimately becomes relief. "That's really good," he whispers.

Johnny chuckles. "And believe it or not, so are you. I think you're just putting too much pressure on yourself. It's only been a month since you started training. You've been shadowing your dad as much as you can on top of the strenuous classes you have to take."

"I guess you're right."

"Of course, I am." Johnny stops massaging Taeyong and maneuvers him so they're sitting face to face. "I've been with you since we were kids Taeyong. I _know_ you." Taeyong's heart drops to his stomach at those words. "You can do this. You were _meant_ for this. Just take it one step at a time, and always remember, just as your father had all his men, you will also have me and all the men willing to serve under you."

Taeyong looks for any lies in Johnny's eyes, but all he sees is sincerity, maybe something more, something he can't quite articulate.

"Thanks, Youngho." He presses his forehead against Johnny's and closes his eyes.

"Anything for you, Taeyong."

It's not that things get easier after that, but Taeyong finds the strength to keep going. One look at Johnny's faith and trust in him, and Taeyong squares his shoulders to face the day.

 

* * *

 

Once the semester starts, with Taeyong majoring in business, his father decides it's about time to introduce him to the bloodier side of things. Taeyong and Johnny have to schedule their classes in the morning to accompany Taeyong's father with his late-night dealings.

If Taeyong can barely wrap his head around the legal aspects of the family, then the illegal affairs of his family are even trickier.

On the first night out, his father tells him, "You, as the boss, can never, ever get caught shooting or killing anyone if it isn't out of self-defense. Do you understand, Taeyong?"

Taeyong barely picks up on all the things left unsaid, but when he gets it, he swallows and says, "Yes, boss."

"Good." Taeyong's father smiles proudly before handing him a sleek, black Colt .45 revolver. "Here. You'll learn when to use it and who you can use it on eventually. For now, keep this with you always."

Taeyong takes a deep breath and puts the gun in the holster covered by his suit jacket. He knew this day would come, but no amount of mental preparation could have prepared him for this, the reality that one day, someone would have to die either by his hand or at his command. He almost hurls right then and there, but Johnny's hand on his shoulder tightens, and Taeyong relaxes somewhat.

"Good," Taeyong's father says again with a smile. "Now come on, there is _much_ for you to learn."

 

* * *

 

College, surprisingly, is easier than his nightly lessons. With most of the business aspect already taught to him beforehand, he breezes through his lectures. Having Johnny by his side only makes it easier as he finds ways of making college a fun experience for Taeyong.

What he doesn't expect, although he should have, is Doyoung's reappearance. Somehow, he'd made himself think that he'd gotten rid of the guy after high school, but he should have known better. He should have known that, not only would Doyoung take the same major, he would also enroll in the same university.

Taeyong scowls as he sees Doyoung again in the same class, seated in the front row, his glasses askew. He looks haggard even though it's only the second week of classes. Not that Taeyong cares.

A tap on his table draws his attention to his seatmate, Johnny. Johnny's got a knowing look in his eyes. "Stop pouting," he says.

The pout on Taeyong's lips turn into frown which brings a chuckle out of Johnny.

"You know," Johnny whispers, leaning in closely to Taeyong's ear that Johnny's lips brush the skin. "Why not, instead of hating him, think of a way to use him within the family?"

When Taeyong turns to look at Johnny, he's got a smirk on his face, but his eyes mean business. Taeyong takes a deep breath and sighs resignedly.

It's not that Taeyong hasn't thought of utilizing Doyoung. In fact, he's thought of it hundreds of times. It's just that he thinks about maneuvering Doyoung into lower tier groups where he can never rise up in the family. But something about the look in Johnny's eyes tells Taeyong that he should look into it deeper, think about it with business and money in mind.

The frown finds itself back on his lips, the corners of them downturned even further. He knows Doyoung's smart, and not just book smart. He's seen Doyoung talk business with other family members, knows what Doyoung is currently capable of and his potential. Loathe as he may be to admit it, Johnny is right when he implies that Doyoung can be useful to the family.

Johnny's loud laughter breaks his train of thought, and he knows that Johnny's laughing at the look on his face. He must look constipated with his contrasting emotions. He flips Johnny off, just so Johnny will know he is not at all happy by this. Johnny doesn't stop laughing, even as he turns to face the board.

And Johnny may be right, but really it's just that Taeyong is too weak when it comes to Johnny.

 

* * *

 

_"Always think of the family. Family always come first."_

This is what Taeyong hears when he decides to _observe_ Doyoung. Just because Johnny told Taeyong to give Doyoung a chance doesn't mean Taeyong's going to use Doyoung. Taeyong has to see whether Doyoung actually deserves it.

He tries to look at Doyoung with unbiased eyes, throwing away any previous judgments to really see what Doyoung's truly capable of. Sharing the same classes, Taeyong learns how differently Doyoung thinks from him. Where Taeyong thinks about the family and keeping it together while trying to maintain power, Doyoung sees a business that he can expand and grow and turn into an empire.

Taeyong also reevaluates the hunger in Doyoung's eyes, tries to see it as something other than the "I want to inherit the family instead of Taeyong" look. It's desire, a goal. It's a hunger that pushes Doyoung to keep working, to keep thinking, but it's also his weakness. At this thought, Taeyong smirks. Maybe, just maybe, he _can_ use Doyoung.

Manipulating Doyoung's thirst for power isn't going to be easy, and with the animosity between them, Taeyong knows it's going to take a lot of careful planning, but the end justifies the means.

And so, carefully, Taeyong gets Johnny to bring Doyoung into their group. It starts with sitting together at lunch in the cafeteria. At first, Doyoung refuses, glancing at Taeyong not so subtly. By the fifth time, Johnny convinces Doyoung to sit with them by telling him that Taeyong doesn't mind. Doyoung gives Taeyong a speculative raise of the brow before huffing and joining their table. Taeyong puts on an act, pretends he doesn't care at first and lets Johnny control the conversation around them. It's only when Johnny brings him in with questions and anecdotes that Taeyong participates. And that's how Doyoung starts spending lunch with them at the cafeteria.

The next thing Taeyong does is bribe his professors to pair him up with Doyoung on group assignments. It's easy enough to do using the right methods, and it's not as if he's asking for A's. At first, Doyoung is surprised to find himself paired up with Taeyong, but when Taeyong doesn't blow up like usual, he accepts the situation. Taeyong takes note of this reaction, frowning at Doyoung's lack of intuition.

With them working on assignments and projects together, it gets easier for Taeyong to see Doyoung's work ethic, how quickly he resolves issues, but most of all, how Doyoung applies everything he's learning into real life. They're all good traits, definitely something Taeyong can use for the advancement of the family. Doyoung can be beneficial, if used in the right way.

He smirks as the final phase of his plan comes into action. Little by little, he gains Doyoung's trust. At first, he complies with Doyoung's demands when it comes to projects. He relents in areas he knows Doyoung won't give in until, bit by bit, Doyoung lets his guard down and starts to see Taeyong as something more than a rival.

They're not friends… not yet, at least.

Johnny is the one that bridges them together, that helps them make that jump together. His bright and wonderful aura is what gets the both of them to lower their guard, and that's when Taeyong loosens up a little. He starts smiling at Doyoung, stops tolerating him and starts listening to what Doyoung has to say. He starts seeing Doyoung and not the kid trying to take him down. But most of all, he can see Doyoung standing by his side, a formidable ally who is ready to lay down his life for the family. It will take some time to get there, but Taeyong can mold Doyoung, he knows he can.

By the time their first year in college is done, Doyoung has found himself integrated into Taeyong's group, and his dreams of one day inheriting the family have turned into oblivion. When Taeyong's father hears of this news, he gives Taeyong a proud smile and gifts him a gold plated Colt 45 revolver.

 

* * *

 

Summer vacation for Taeyong is filled with many surprises. What he thinks would be a breezy training turns out to be much worse. True to his father's words, the things he's witnessed and experienced start turning bloody. His father had made him sit through a meeting with a client who had no money to pay back his loan. He'd seen one of the enemy underlings attack his father's bodyguards and get shot. And tonight, he's standing beside his father as one of their higher ranking members begs and pleads for his life.

If there's one thing his father doesn't tolerate, it's when members don't stand by the morals of the family. "We're a crime syndicate, yes, but there are just things in this world you shouldn't do," he said on Taeyong's second day. Tonight, he finds out just what kind of punishment those people go through. The higher they are, the higher they fall.

Taeyong sees the broken man before him and can't believe he'd grown up calling him uncle. He's bruised and battered, one of his eyes swollen shut. In the eye that can see, Taeyong spots desperation, practically begging for one more chance at life. He'd grown up playing with the man's son, called him his little brother; he'd seen the beautiful wife that always stood by his uncle's side. How will he ever look them in the eyes after this?

"You know we don't deal with children in that way, Director Na." His father's tone is almost fleeting, almost uncaring, but the tense way he holds himself says that there isn't any good to come.

"I didn't mean to do it, I swear," Unc—Director Na says, pleading through his tears and blood. "I just, I just couldn't help myself."

Taeyong's father scoffs, his grip on the chair tightening. "Couldn't help yourself? Couldn't stop yourself? You sold that child for how much? And now what? You've got money, to buy yourself a car, to spend on a whore? That's blood money we don't need or want. Taeyong here could earn that much in one night, and he wouldn't have had to sell a child to do so."

Just then, Yunho appears in the room, his face relaxed, and he goes straight to Taeyong's father and whispers something even Taeyong can't hear. Taeyong doesn't notice the slight smile on his father's face, but he does notice the way the tension releases from his body.

"I see. Thank you, Yunho. You're dismissed."

"Yes, sir." Yunho bows and leaves the room.

Director Na looks confused. He keeps looking at Taeyong's father, the door and then sometimes at Taeyong. Taeyong's father looks at Director Na and frowns. "You betrayed the one code we live by and now you must face the consequences." He stands up and squeezes Director Na's shoulder. "Don't worry, we'll take care of your wife and Jaemin. The sins of the father are never the son's. Taeyong, follow me."

Taeyong doesn't look back, not even when he hears Director Na shouting and crying. What he doesn't expect is to see his father's mischievous smile. Something about it worries Taeyong, and he's never been this scared before.

"Do it," is all his father says, pointing at the gun attached to Taeyong's hip. "This is part of your lessons too." He crosses his arms, and his smile turns solemn. "Once you inherit the position, this is something you'll also have to do. It's either they die by your hand or they don't die at all." He squeezes Taeyong's shoulder and walks away.

Taeyong swallows the lump in his throat. The gun he was gifted hasn't even been fired yet, not even for practice. Today, he will use it to kill someone he sees as family. He takes a deep breath and looks for Johnny, but he remembers that he isn't in the room, isn't even in the same place. His father had specifically wanted Taeyong alone tonight, and now he knows why.

His shaky hand holds onto the gun's handle, reaching for it but unable to grip it correctly. He shakes his hands and takes a few deep breaths, trying to calm his racing heart. _I have to do this,_ he chants in his head over and over again. When he can finally hold the gun properly, he goes back inside the room.

Director Na has stopped his wailing to look at Taeyong pleadingly. Taeyong takes a deep breath and aims the gun. He doesn't wait for Director Na to speak before he pulls the trigger. He doesn't hold his breath, and he doesn't close his eyes. He watches as the life falls away from Director Na's eyes, sees the blood spatter everywhere, feels some of it on his own skin.

He walks out just as Director Na's body falls to the ground. His hands shake as he holsters his gun, but he keeps walking until he finds himself in the car. His father's voice echoes in the background but his words come out muffled. He doesn't hear anything beyond the loud beating of his heart. When he closes his eyes, he can see the final moments of Director Na, just before the light of life died out in his eyes.

He keeps his eyes open for as long as possible, keeps his lips shut, practically biting his tongue. He doesn't even hear when his father tells him, "You did well, Taeyong." He spends the rest of the car ride trying to block out the image of Director Na dying. He thinks of his classes next semester, Doyoung's voice nagging him not to slack on the coursework. He thinks of Johnny and his smile, how he wishes Johnny were by his side in this moment. He thinks of Johnny's laugh, the way it echoes around them, wishing he could hear it and chase away these dark memories.

When they arrive home, Taeyong doesn't wait for the car to stop completely before he's walking inside their mansion, up the stairs and into his room. He takes off his suit jacket, practically tearing the fibers of his tie in his haste to get it off his neck. It feels too much like a noose wrapped around him, getting tighter and tighter, until he's struggling for air. He can't breathe, can't remember how. His vision blurs, and tears start streaming down his cheeks, and he needs help but the words don't come.

A bang so loud echoes in his room, and for a moment he thinks someone has shot him. He tries to search for the gunshot on his body, but when he spots nothing, he falls to his knees at the realization that someone had just opened the door too loudly. There are hands on his body, fingers on his cheeks, and he doesn't realize what's going on until he's looking into Johnny's eyes, and only then can he breathe again.

"Taeyong, Taeyong," Johnny says as he wipes Taeyong's tears away, and then he's pulling Taeyong into his arms. Taeyong breathes in Johnny's scent and calms down a little, but the tears don't stop falling, the sobs come out but he can't speak or say anything coherent.

"It's okay, you're okay," Johnny keeps repeating. Sometimes, he'll ask what's wrong, and Taeyong will get a flash of Director Na's cold, dead body on the floor, blood all over the room.

"I'm gonna puke," Taeyong utters, and he drags himself to the bathroom where he heaves everything he's eaten for the day.

Johnny follows after him, rubbing his back as he keeps retching even when nothing comes out.

"What happened?" Johnny's voice echoes in the bathroom, loud and piercing.

Taeyong finally leans his head on the cold, porcelain rim of the toilet. Tears are still falling from his eyes, but somehow, he finds the voice to say, "I killed someone today."

Johnny doesn't speak or ask for clarification. He just picks Taeyong up and wipes down his face with a warm, wet towel. He undresses Taeyong who buries his head in Johnny's neck, holding onto Johnny. Taeyong finally stops crying when he finds himself submerged in warm water in the bathtub. Johnny pours some bath oils and soap to help calm Taeyong down until he's hiccuping in Johnny's clothed chest.

"It's gonna be okay, you're gonna be okay," Johnny keeps saying, wiping Taeyong down.

Taeyong relaxes thanks to the scent of the bath and Johnny's soothing voice. He even falls asleep at one point, waking up vaguely to the taste of mint in his mouth, and then fully coming to when he's laid down on the bed. He's dressed warmly in his favorite pajamas, and Johnny's pushing the hair out of his eyes.

Somewhere between the time that Taeyong was asleep, Johnny had changed into his own pajamas. Now they're both lying down on Taeyong's bed, both of them under the covers and their legs tangled together.

"How're you feeling?" Johnny asks.

Taeyong takes a deep breath and sidles closer to Johnny until he's got his face buried in Johnny's chest, the scent of the bath oils mingling with his natural scent. It calms Taeyong a lot more, gets him to stop tearing up at the thought of what he'd just done.

"I killed Director Na," he mutters into Johnny's chest. It comes out muffled, but their years-long friendship has given Johnny the power to decipher just about anything that Taeyong says.

Johnny wraps his arms tighter around Taeyong, hands rubbing and soothing on Taeyong's back.

"I had to do it," Taeyong says in lieu of an explanation. "Father, he, he said that we had to get rid of him for what he did. He'd sold a child, Youngho, so I had to kill him. I had to." Tears pool at the corners of his eyes, and the only reason they don't fall is because he wipes them away on Johnny's shirt.

"And I don't know or understand why it bothers me so much. I should be used to it. This is something I'll have to do when I inherit my father's position. Kill, reload, repeat. What's wrong with me?"

"There's nothing wrong with you," Johnny says sternly, hands on Taeyong's cheeks so that Taeyong can see that he means it. "They always say that your first kill is the hardest, and it was someone you knew too, someone you'd grown up with. It couldn't have been easy, and I don't think it'll ever get any easier." He sighs and wipes away Taeyong's stray tears. "Killing someone is different from being surrounded by death Taeyong, and the difference is you pulling the trigger and someone else doing it for you. This time, you pulled the trigger, you had to, and it was hard, but you did it, it's over now."

Johnny presses a kiss onto Taeyong's forehead, and warmth and comfort washes over Taeyong. "I know it's hard, but I'll always be here for you." Johnny presses a kiss to the tip of Taeyong's nose. "If you can't do it next time," Johnny breathes on his lips, "then I'll do it for you." When his lips land on Taeyong's, he cuts off whatever reply Taeyong might have given him.

The feeling of Johnny's lips on his own throws all the words out of Taeyong's head. He can't even remember what he was crying about just seconds ago. All that exists in that moment is Johnny, his warm lips, and the feeling of them moving against his own.

Johnny pulls Taeyong flush against his own body, his hands slipping inside Taeyong's shirt to feel his warm skin with his own finger tips. Taeyong gasps into the kiss as Johnny's fingers dance on his skin.

"I'll do it for you, Taeyong," Johnny whispers over and over again whenever he pulls away, giving them a second to breathe and then going back in for more. "Anything for you."

It hits Taeyong in the middle of their kiss exactly what Johnny means, but by then, a cloud is hanging over his thoughts, dulling his senses and his words. All he can think about is how grateful he is for Johnny, to have Johnny by his side, to have a right hand man so loyal that he would kill for Taeyong.

"Thank you, Youngho," is all Taeyong replies before pulling Johnny closer to him, tangling their limbs together until he can't think or feel beyond the heat of Johnny's body.

 

* * *

 

It's Johnny who convinces Taeyong to tell Doyoung what's going on, it's also Johnny who tells Doyoung exactly what's going on. They're in their department's cafeteria, on their favorite table near the far right corner of the place. Everyone's too busy and too noisy to pay attention to what they're talking about.

Doyoung is quiet at first, but Taeyong can tell from the look in Doyoung's eyes that he's not at all pleased with Taeyong. And then the tiny, downard turn of his lips appear, which he hides behind the act of feeding himself. Taeyong sighs but waits for Doyoung to speak before defending himself.

When he's done chewing, he turns to Taeyong, disappointed expression replaced by something more serious, one that tells Taeyong that Doyoung means business. "You know what this means, right? If you can't shoot or kill anyone, you're gonna have to look for some other way to gain respect from other members of the family. We all know that they're not gonna respect you if you can't even kill a bloody traitor."

Before Taeyong can fight back, Johnny puts a hand on his knee to calm him down. It does well to distract Taeyong, enough that his mind goes back to the kiss the other night. He barely hears when Johnny says, "Which is why we're gonna help him, right, Doyoung?" He says it in a sickeningly sweet tone, but Taeyong knows Johnny well enough that it's a facade, something to lure Doyoung in, not that he needs much luring in nowadays.

Doyoung hums, and then, slowly, a smirk starts playing on his lips. "Of course," he drawls. Just as the mischievous look has reached his eyes, he gestures for Johnny and Taeyong to move closer. Taeyong tries to shake away the ghost of Johnny's lips as he tries to focus on Doyoung's plan. "I've got an idea."

 

* * *

 

Word spreads of Taeyong's ruthless killing of Director Na, how he didn't even close his eyes, didn't bat an eye at Director Na's pleas and cries. He'd shot him cold and dead, and then walked away. Rumors of him shooting people stepping out of line for absolutely anything spread soon after, and the fear that comes with that reputation quickly spreads within the family. What makes it worse is Taeyong's ability to smile at Director Na's family after everything he's done.

 _"Admirable,"_ they say to his face, and _"Merciless,"_ they say behind his back.

What they don't see is the minutes before Taeyong has to face Director Na's widowed wife and their son. How he paces, rolls his shoulders and shakes his hands before being physically stopped by Johnny. They don't see how he has to look into Johnny's eyes, picture himself in that bed, with Johnny's hand on his skin. How he has to cling to that memory to forget the blood and carnage before he can even be able to harden his facial expression, keep his stoic and nonchalant appearance. They don't see how he has to practice smiling in front of Jaemin's picture, so Taeyong won't picture Director Na's desperation seconds before his death.

And it's better that way, it's better that they don't know, that they don't see, so that when Taeyong walks out of his room to greet the members of his family, they can't use anything against him. They don't know Taeyong, they don't know his weaknesses, and Taeyong will never give them a chance to find out.

Doyoung smirks at the success of the first phase of his plans and starts the second phase. After convincing Taeyong to keep a nonchalant facade, Doyoung fuels the rumors of Taeyong's mercilessness and spreads it to greater territories. He spices it up with the implication that the family has had to stop Taeyong from killing people, and the rumor that reaches other territories turn into, "Taeyong's a maniac who has to have his bodyguard, Johnny, kill for him because, apparently, Taeyong likes to torture people, and his family has had enough of it."

Now that Doyoung's established Johnny as Taeyong's gun, Doyoung waits until everyone in their circle has moved on to the next issue before he begins the third phase.

"Since everyone fears you now," Doyoung says in their cafeteria as they eat lunch. "We should focus on your reputation as a businessman. They fear your power, but they don't know if they can fear your intellect."

They start small, or Doyoung has Taeyong start small. They let it slip how Taeyong's at the top of his classes, even with Doyoung as his competitor. How the professors are impressed with his work ethic and his ability to use everything he's learning in business proposals and meetings.

With rumors spreading of his intelligence, more members of the family start wanting him around meetings. Taeyong doesn't wait to be called to share his input on project proposals or on casual business meetings his father hosts in their bars and clubs. It impresses potential clients, business partners, but most of all, tells the board of directors what's in store for them when Taeyong sits in his father's chair.

It doesn't take long before Taeyong starts appearing in more and more meetings on behalf of his father. He starts presenting his own proposals, heads his own clubs and bars, until no one is surprised that Taeyong makes the rounds with his own men, and his father stays at home, enjoying more days off.

No one is surprised when Taeyong graduates at the top of his class, followed by Doyoung, and then Johnny. (Although, Taeyong and Doyoung speculate that Johnny may have done poorly in comparison to bring them up.)

No one is surprised when, just a few days after his graduation, Taeyong's father announces his retirement and gives Taeyong his position. Everyone is gathered in the elaborate living room of their mansion, board of directors from their company, higher ranking family members, and even some of their lackeys. Everyone watches as Taeyong's father stands up and motions for Taeyong to step forward.

There are no words. Taeyong stands in front of his father, and the very second his father puts a hand on his shoulder, the crowd cheers. The applause and shouts don't stop until Taeyong steps forward to proclaim his role as the new head of the Neo Family. Once his father and his men step back, Johnny and Doyoung appear by his side, his own slew of guards standing behind him.

And that's when everything goes to hell. Gunshots are fired, someone screams, and Johnny is the first to push Taeyong down so he won't get hurt. From the corner of Taeyong's eye, he sees his father and mother guarded by Yunho and the others. He catches Yunho's eyes and once the older man nods, he escorts Taeyong's parents out of harm's way.

Masked men enter the room, each of them holding AK 47's, pointing it towards the members of Taeyong's family. The one in the middle pulls off his mask, and Taeyong's not surprised to see that it's the son of a rival gang.

"You didn't think we'd pass off this chance to wipe you out, did you?" he says in a mocking tone.

Taeyong puts a hand on Johnny's shoulder, a silent message to stop protecting him. Johnny gives him one long look before moving away. Taeyong walks up to the man in front of him. He can't even remember his name. All he remembers is that he belongs to the _Eight Star Family_.

"No, I knew someone would come." Taeyong looks to the members of the family still in the room. Most of the children were told not to come, the wives of several members were advised to stay at home if they couldn't weild a gun or a knife. Looking at the men and women in the living room, he can see that no one's dead so far. He smirks. "Why do you think you got in so easily?"

Before a word can leave his mouth, Taeyong steps aside, and Johnny shoots him. The masked men, in a state of shock, either get shot or stabbed. Some of them still have their wits about them, firing back, but the Neo Family are formidable. They give back a hundredfold, and it doesn't take long until only one of them is left bleeding on his floor, barely alive.

"What do we do about him?" Doyoung asks, blood spatter still fresh on his cheek. Other than a light gash on his arms and legs, he seems to be mostly fine. He kicks at the bloodied body lightly, earning a groan in reply.

Taeyong smiles, but it's one that keeps everyone in the family quiet. "Take him to a hospital. Make sure he lives long enough to go back to the Eight Star Family and tell the tale of how we killed their heir. How I didn't even have to shoot him."

Doyoung smirks. "You got it, boss."

"Taeyong."

Taeyong looks into Johnny's eyes and sees the pride shining in them clear as the pool of blood on the floor. Taeyong swallows as his gut churns, his skin heating up with the way Johnny looks at him.

"You did great," Johnny whispers, a small smile on his lips, and Taeyong smiles back. That's all he needed to hear.

 

* * *

 

Taeyong finds himself staring at the skin of Johnny's back. Sun beats down on the window behind him, casting a sheen on that paleness, making it almost glitter. He licks his lips. His eyes don't turn away from the view in front of him, even as black cloth begins to obscure his view. He barely keeps the sigh from falling out of his lips once Johnny has his black sweater on, albeit a _tight_ sweater, successfully keeping his back from Taeyong's view.

"Taeyong." Johnny waves a hand in front of Taeyong's face.

Taeyong blinks up at him. "What?"

A smirk tugs on Johnny's lips. "You were spacing out while I was telling you the summary of my report." Johnny drops a folder on Taeyong's desk. Taeyong doesn't have to look at it to know there's a picture of a dead body inside, along with a hand-written report of the details of the killing and the clean up. Johnny's bloodied shirt is still scattered on Taeyong's office floor, and the fact that Taeyong sent him on the job is all Taeyong needs to know that Johnny did his job and did it well.

"I trust you," Taeyong replies with all seriousness, eyes locked with Johnny's.

Johnny's smirk falls away and turns into an almost pout. "You shouldn't trust anyone in the biz, 'Yong." He leans in so closely that their noses touch, and Taeyong breathes in the warm puffs of air that Johnny exhales.

"Would you ever betray me?"

"Never."

There's a split second where Taeyong tries to look down at Johnny's lips, so close, and yet still so far away. The moment is over when Johnny steps back, his smile playful once again.

"I'm going to take a shower," Johnny says walking backwards. "Don't forget to read my report." Johnny winks, and Taeyong watches him walk away, eyes never leaving Johnny until the door closes.

Taeyong sighs and scans the report to fill his mind with something else other than Johnny's lips and body. It works well enough until it doesn't. It's been getting harder and harder to focus, Taeyong finds, now that he's gotten used to his position.

It's been almost five years since he replaced his father. Things have quieted down a lot compared to those first few years when he officially took the position. He chuckles as he remembers the bloodshed and scandals in those years. It almost seems a lifetime ago. He turns his office chair to look at the expanse of Seoul from his window. Things have settled enough that Taeyong can even enjoy the scenery, can finally separate himself from the business, from Boss to Taeyong. He watches the clouds slowly pass by, reminding him of Johnny's pale skin.

Now that Taeyong has the time, he often finds his thoughts shifting to Johnny. It's not as if he doesn't like thinking about Johnny, but he finds that he can't stop thinking about that one kiss they shared years ago. So many things had happened in the last five years that Taeyong couldn't stop and think about himself, let alone think about that kiss. He recalls those moments where he and Johnny were the only ones in this office, heads bumping against each other as they went over plans and proposals. He'd come so close to asking Johnny about the kiss—if it had meant something, if it could mean something—but the words never left him. Johnny would ask him what the plan was, and Taeyong would think it wasn't the right time to talk about such a thing, not when so many lives depended on what he was about to do.

Now that most of the trouble he has with rival gangs and law enforcement have passed, he thinks if it's the right time to think about it—to think about himself. He closes his eyes and tries to relive that kiss with Johnny, tries feel Johnny's lips on his, his warm hand pressing against his back, but all he gets is the cool air of his office. He can't remember the heat of Johnny's skin, but he can still feel the ghost of Johnny's lips on his own and the burning want in his gut. He opens his eyes and takes a deep breath, feeling his skin flush with arousal. He wonders if Johnny thinks about their kiss, if Johnny wants to do it again, wants it as much as—

"Taeyong."

Taeyong startles in his chair, falling to the ground. "Fuck!"

"Fuck you too," Doyoung says with no real heat, once again not bothering to knock. Taeyong tries not to roll his eyes at the obvious lack of courtesy.

Taeyong gets back on his chair and eyes Doyoung from head to toe. Doyoung is dressed in an all black suit, tablet in hand. His black shirt's been left unbuttoned, showing his milky white skin. He sighs when he doesn't feel the same churn of want, even though he thinks and knows that Doyoung is handsome in his own right.

"What?" he finally says when Doyoung just stands there.

Doyoung rolls his eyes. "Your father wants to see you." He looks at his tablet and starts reading his notes. "He's made me cancel any dinner meetings you might have and wants you to eat at home. You didn't have any dinner meetings by the way. I already told Johnny, so he's getting ready. The car's already waiting. Oh, and he told me that it's just gonna be you, your mom and him. Johnny and I will be standing guard outside the dining area."

Taeyong takes a deep breath and tries not to groan. He massages his temple and thinks. Whatever his father wants to say can't be anything good. The last time Taeyong had to talk with his father and mother in private, someone had to die. Taeyong wonders if the outcome will be the same this time around. He stands up and rolls his shoulders.

"Let's just get this over and done with. After this, get Siwon to drive me to your bar. I'm probably gonna need to get wasted after tonight's dinner." He eyes Johnny's bloodied shirt on the floor and takes a deep breath. "Get someone to clean up Youngho's mess."

"Got it."

 

* * *

 

It isn't that Taeyong doesn't like spending time with his family. He does. His father has mellowed out a lot ever since Taeyong started taking care of the family. What he doesn't like is how meddlesome they are now that they've got so much free time.

Almost as if to prove Taeyong's point, his mother sends his father a look. Once his father opens his mouth, Taeyong knows they're going to be talking about things aside from the family business.

"People are talking, Taeyong," he starts, his eyes meeting Taeyong's. Taeyong doesn't look away.

"About what?"

"About how you aren't married yet."

It's a good thing he isn't eating or drinking anything or that remark would've caught him off guard. Out of all the topics they could have said, he doesn't expect this. His parents aren't the type to talk to him about his relationships… or at least they weren't, until now that is.

Taeyong takes a deep breath. "It wasn't a problem before…" He resumes eating.

Taeyong's father doesn't, his eyes remaining on Taeyong until Taeyong can feel the weight of them on his shoulders. When he looks up, his father says, "Well, it would seem that _people_ find it _troublesome_ , but that really depends on who you're talking to."

Taeyong resists the urge to sigh. "What really is the problem, Father?"

Now that he has Taeyong's full attention, Taeyong's father smirks. "If you do not have an heir to inherit your throne, then you are just as weak as you were when you first rose to the position."

"There are people already planning on overthrowing me _just_ because I'm not married or have a child?" Taeyong scoffs.

"It's much worse than that." His father sounds grim, and even his mother shares his father's dark look. "They're not planning on overthrowing you. They're planning on making you either marry their daughters so their grandchildren can eventually gain the power you've worked so hard to cultivate, or worse, planning on making their sons and daughters work directly under you, make you take them under your wing, so that you will choose them to lead this family."

Taeyong bristles at the thought of his men falling to such low tricks and realizing how weak he could be if a child were involved.

"Your position, your power is only yours for as long as you stay alive, or until you give it to your heir. And for as long as you live, people from all over this country will kill you for it."

"What should I do?" And he hates how helpless he sounds, how even after years of being schooled to lead, to be strong, he still sounds like a child to his parents.

There's a moment of silence and then his mom reaches out to hold his hand. "You already know what to do, son."

No one speaks for another second, and then his parents start eating again. Taeyong takes a beat longer before he picks up his utensils. Even with his mouth full of food, Taeyong can't taste anything. Instead, he feels the weight on his tongue, barely able to chew it as it goes down his throat. He almost chokes.

He finishes his meal in a daze, the rest of their conversation going in one ear and out the other. The next thing he knows is that he's in a car with Johnny and Doyoung. Johnny's looking at him with an unreadable expression. Doyoung, thankfully, is too busy looking at the road.

When he meets Johnny's eyes, Taeyong can practically hear the silent questions of _Are you okay? What's going on?_ Taeyong shakes his head and relaxes back into the carseat. It'd be easier to talk once he's gotten some drinks in his system. He doesn't regret looking away, but Johnny's eyes stay on him throughout the entire ride, and that makes him feel just a little guilty.

 

* * *

 

Taeyong downs his third tequila shot of the night, savoring the burn in his throat before turning to face Johnny. He notices that Johnny's whiskey neat still sits on the bartop, untouched. Doyoung remains quiet on his other side, clearly waiting for Taeyong to speak.

"They want me to get married." Taeyong doesn't take his eyes off Johnny, and it's probably because of this that he notices Johnny curl his fist for a split second before it’s relaxed again.

"What for?" Johnny sounds as calm as he looks, and something about it irks Taeyong, making his blood boil. He sighs and turns away. From here, he can see Doyoung waiting for him to answer Johnny's question. And so he tells them exactly what his parents told him.

"Will you do it?" Doyoung asks.

Taeyong takes a deep breath and locks eyes with Johnny. "I don't know. Should I?" Johnny seems to bristle at the question, but Taeyong's not sure if it happened or if it’s just the alcohol.

Johnny stays quiet for a while, but Taeyong knows he's ruminating the question. He picks up his whiskey, takes a large gulp, before saying, "You're the fucking boss of the Neo Family. You're Lee fucking Taeyong. You should do whatever the fuck you want."

It's not the answer Taeyong wants, but he doesn't even know the answer he wants to hear, so he lifts up the corner of his lips into a smile and asks for another shot. He pretends to laugh, to smile, to enjoy this moment because the truth is there's something more that he's looking for, something deeper that he wants to fall into, but he doesn't know what that is.

On their way back home, with Doyoung asleep in the passenger seat, Johnny sidles close to him, enough that their arms touch, the alcohol in their system making the contact hotter than it usually is.

"What do you wanna do, Taeyong?" Johnny asks, his eyes clear. It's almost as if he didn't drink a drop of alcohol. Taeyong can barely look away.

"I don't know," Taeyong admits. "What do you think I should, Youngho?" Taeyong whispers his name and something about the way he says it sounds like a plea, a cry for help.

Johnny shakes his head. "I can't, I can't answer this for you, Taeyong. Not this time." Johnny's fingers brush against his own, warm but not as reassuring, not like in the past. "You have to do what you wanna do, Taeyong." His free hand comes up to caress Taeyong's cheek and his other hand close to enveloping Taeyong's.

Johnny is close enough that he can smell the alcohol on his breath, the heat of his body strong enough to suffocate him. Taeyong takes a deep breath and leans closer, feeling safe and comfortable. _This is what I want_ , he thinks.

"You," he whispers. "You're what I want."

Johnny scoffs. "You're drunk, Taeyong." He pulls away and, just like that, the cool airconditioning of the car slaps Taeyong back to reality. "Don't, don't think about it now, not after the drinks we've had. You've got time." Johnny sticks to his side of the car, inches away from Taeyong. He doesn't touch Taeyong throughout the night.

Taeyong watches Johnny turn away from him, questioning what he even really meant by what he said. It's not as if Johnny wasn't right, but… it felt so wrong to be denied. He needs to find out why. _What did Johnny mean by that? Was it really just a drunken thought?_

 

* * *

 

Taeyong watches the light glimmer from the skyscrapers surrounding Seoul. It's one of the things he likes about his office, that he gets to sit here and look at the view, gets the time to himself to really think. Today, he ignores the stack of papers and proposals he has to read and sign. Instead, he thinks about last night, about what Johnny said.

"What do I want?" he whispers to himself. He looks down at his lap where a leather bound photo frame lays open on his lap. On one side is a photo of a beautiful girl, familiar, and he recalls vague memories of large family gatherings and short greetings. On the other side is a documentation resembling a resume, but it's more personal with a letter stapled at the front instead of a cover letter.

"She's pretty."

"Jesusfuckingchrist!" Taeyong accidentally throws the frame in his surprise, and Johnny's laughter echoes in his office.

"Is she that pretty?" Johnny asks as he picks up the frame, staring at the picture himself.

Taeyong's heart is still pounding when he finally looks at Johnny. There's an odd expression on his face, like a grimace that's not really there.

"I— She's okay." He shrugs. He's never really looked or thought of women in that way, never filled his head with lustful images. He's never felt the rush of heat his men had gotten at the sight of their curves, or the erotic scent they carried themselves with. _But didn't I feel that when I looked at Youngho yesterday? When he took off his shirt?_ His breath catches in his throat, and he wipes at the sweat dripping down his temple.

Johnny chuckles. "Is she really that hot that you're sweating?" It's a joke, but Johnny's tone is clipped, forced, and his expression barely conceals the discomfort slipping through. Taeyong doesn't laugh.

"It's not her. It's just really hot in here," he says, voice barely above a whisper as his eyes focus on Johnny's arm, muscles evident even in their relaxed state. He can't stop looking even when they bulge as they flex, with Johnny moving to sit on his desk.

"Taeyong," Johnny waves a hand in front of Taeyong's face, and he shakes himself out of his trance, barely restraining himself from watching those fingers.

"What?"

Johnny shakes his head, but there's a familiar smile there, one that eases the tension on Taeyong's shoulder. "I was saying that if it's so hot then you should lower the temp of the AC, but I went ahead and did it anyway." He reaches out and wipes a drop of sweat off of Taeyong's forehead, a small smile growing on his lips.

"Thanks." Taeyong tries for a smile, but he feels as if it's not as sincere as he wants it to be. Thankfully, Johnny doesn't comment. "So what really brings you here, Youngho?"

"Can't I just visit my good and longtime friend whom I also happen to work for?" A smirk replaces Johnny's smile, but it's the playful kind, one that Taeyong hasn't seen in a while.

Taeyong feels a semblance of himself come back to him, and he finds himself playing along with a playful smile of his own. "Not that I won't say no to visitors, but if it's not lunch break, then you really should be working, Suh Youngho." 

Johnny laughs. "Then what if I told you I was here to take you out for lunch?" The smirk falls away into a soft smile, a smile that gets Taeyong's heart racing. He hasn't seen that smile in a while.

"Yeah?"

Johnny shrugs. "I got here thirty minutes ago, but you were too busy staring out the window to notice. Didn't even hear it when I knocked. I'm thinking it's time to take a break, from your thoughts, from your papers and obligations. What do you think?"

"Yeah, I'd like that." Taeyong gets up from his chair. Johnny quickly steps beside him, matching his pace.

"What say you we don't tell Doyoung a thing?" Johnny whispers, his breath tickling Taeyong's ears.

Taeyong laughs. "He'd hate that. Let's do it."

Johnny bumps into his arm as they make their way down the corporate building, tucked into each other's side despite the wide hallways. Taeyong has to keep his hands in his pockets so he doesn't reach out to hold onto Johnny's hand. They smile and hold back their laughter as they go out the back entrance, shushing their guards to secrecy and escaping Doyoung's watchful eye.

When they're in Johnny's private car, they share a look and burst out laughing. It reminds Taeyong of simpler times, of high school when they would skip class to eat at cheap restaurants in a different town. He wonders where Johnny will take him. He doesn't ask. Johnny starts the engine, gives Taeyong one long lingering look, and Taeyong knows, it doesn't matter where Johnny takes him. He'd follow him wherever he goes.

 

* * *

 

(Doyoung gives them a scolding loud enough that Taeyong is sure the company and all their enemies from other towns hear it. When Doyoung has his back to them, hands on his hips and absolutely fuming, Taeyong and Johnny share a look. They're both smiling and when Johnny winks, Taeyong's smile only grows. _Worth it._ )

 

* * *

 

Taeyong finds himself staring at the same photo frame again. The girl's smile unchanging, but Taeyong's heart doesn't stir. It doesn't race, not even when he reads the letter attached to her personal information. All he can really think is that she has a nice penmanship, but other than that, he feels nothing. He snaps the frame close and takes some paperwork, reading through the legal papers, signing contracts, almost robotically until Doyoung appears.

"You should go home," is all he says, tapping away at his tablet.

"Where's Youngho?"

"Out doing your bidding."

Taeyong nods to himself, and just like that, his thoughts drift back to Johnny. "Do you have time to talk?"

"I work for you, so obviously I have time to talk." Doyoung sounds sarcastic, but there's a small smile playing on his lips. Only he can accomplish that kind of look. "What's this about?"

Taeyong hums. "You know how my parents want me to get married?" Taeyong slides the folder down his desk towards Doyoung.

"She's pretty. What do you think?"

Taeyong shrugs. "That's it. I don't think anything. She doesn't—I don't—" He takes a deep breath. "She's not what I want."

Doyoung raises his brow in question, and waits for Taeyong to elaborate.

"Youngho told me I should do whatever I want to do, but when I told him I wanted him, he said that it wasn't it. Is that true?"

"You're the only one who knows your true feelings, Taeyong. Johnny, no matter how well he knows you, won't know what you think. But if you don't know for yourself, then you just gotta think, do you love Johnny? Do you wanna be with him?" After a beat he asks, "Would you die for him?"

"Yeah, I would."

"Would you shoot for him?"

"Yes." And Taeyong is surprised by how fast the word falls from his lips, how true they are.

"Then I think you got your answer."

Taeyong closes his eyes and thinks of Johnny, of the time they've spent together and apart. Memories of their childhood flash through his mind. In the quiet of his office, he hears the whisper of young Johnny's laughter. He hears the way his voice deepened as he grew older, remembers days where they leaned against each other, back when they thought the world was against them and how they're still leaning on each other now that it is.

He opens his eyes and knows that even in the days to come, in the years ahead, there is no one who could stand beside him better than Johnny. No one would ever be able to hold him up the way Johnny has through the years.

"Doyoung?"

"Yeah?"

"Take me to where Johnny is."

"Yes, boss." It doesn't escape Taeyong's notice that a smirk is playing on Doyoung's lips, almost hidden by his tablet.

 

* * *

 

Siwon drives them to a dark neighborhood, one on the outskirts of town, with rundown buildings and children who run and hide when their car passes the street. Taeyong frowns as he's never been in the area, but he keeps his questions to himself, waiting for the bigger picture to unfold.

They stop in front of a rundown apartment complex, its paint peeling off the walls. Graffiti's written all over it, and Taeyong scowls at the sight. He looks out the windows, trying to see familiar marks or insignias around. Doyoung seems to notice his hesitation and clears his throat.

"No one owns this part of the city. Johnny and I have checked about a thousand times, and we always check before going here. The only people hanging around here are people who are wannabe gang members, but no one with any real money and power to back them up." For a moment, Taeyong thinks about claiming rights to the land, hiring the low-level gangs to become his lackeys and gets lost in proposals and marketing strategies that he doesn't realize what Doyoung just said.

"Wait," Taeyong says when he remembers that Doyoung clearly said, "Johnny and I." "What do you mean, _Johnny and I_? What are you guys doing here?"

"Not me, Johnny." Doyoung opens the door, and Taeyong glances at Siwon in the driver's seat. Siwon remains quiet, his eyes never leaving the view in front of him. Taeyong sighs as he follows Doyoung out the door.

The cool night air sends a shiver down Taeyong's spine. It brings with it a scent that reminds Taeyong of abandonment and looking around, it feels like it matches the ambiance of the place. Doyoung enters the complex, its door unlocked and ringer broken apart. The common area is a small square space that can only fit three people. To their left is a rusted collection of mailboxes, all of them empty and some left hanging open. Doyoung keeps walking and heads for the staircase to their right.

The hallways are as rundown as the outside, with graffiti written over doors, peeling paint revealing the cement. The only thing that doesn't seem rundown is the door Doyoung's facing. It's a simple steel door, unassuming, but it's different from all the wooden doors in the hallway. It's also the only one untouched by graffiti.

Doyoung presses the doorbell and turns to Taeyong. "I'll be in the car. Send me a message if you have plans of staying over." Before Taeyong can protest, Doyoung walks away and leaves Taeyong to wait for the door to open.

Taeyong's heart hammers in his chest, and for the first time in his life, he regrets not carrying a gun with him at all times. He knows that Doyoung wouldn’t purposely leave him all alone in a place where threats could be hiding, but that doesn't make Taeyong any more confident in facing whoever it is behind that door.

The door creaks open, and Taeyong's mouth nearly falls open when Johnny appears, shirtless, with a towel half draped over his shoulder and half covering his head.

"Taeyong?" He's as surprised as Taeyong, but Johnny's instincts work faster as he looks around the place and drags Taeyong inside his surprisingly nice looking apartment. It looks contemporary with it's shiny, marble floors, modern furniture and state-of-the-art appliances. It almost seems impossible and yet here it is.

"Taeyong," Johnny starts, whirling Taeyong around so he's forced to face Johnny and his wet-hair, with droplets of water sliding down his temples. Taeyong swallows, his throat suddenly dry. "What're you doing here? Who brought you here? How'd you even find this place?"

"Doyoung," is all that leaves his lips. He really wanted to say more, but nothing seems to come out.

" _Shit,_ " Johnny says in English, a hand going through his hair. "Should've known," he says. "He's the only one who knows I even have this place."

"And what is this place?" somehow falls from his lips easily. Taeyong scowls at his own question. It's clearly not what he wants to talk about, not even why he's here to see Johnny, but it does get him to stop tracing the path of that one droplet making its way down Johnny's neck, ready to fall into the depths of his collarbone. He licks his lips and regretfully meets Johnny's eyes.

"It's my hideout." Johnny looks away, and Taeyong knows that there's something about this hideout, a secret that Johnny's been keeping from him. He can't help the rush of anger that he feels, that Johnny would keep secrets between them, but he forces himself to stay calm. "This is where I go when I, when I need to be alone. To think."

"Why didn't you tell me?" It comes out sounding soft—weak, and Taeyong hates himself for it. He bites his lip, regretting that he ever gave the question a voice.

Johnny still won't look at him, not even when he says, "This is where I go when I need to stay away from you, Taeyong."

Taeyong feels the kick in his gut, the pull of the air out his lips as he gasps. He curls his fist, wanting to punch Johnny for not trusting him, for keeping a secret, but he decides against it, keeping them by his side. His nails bite the skin of his palm, but he can't unfurl them, afraid that he won't have any other outlet for the anger steadily boiling within him.

"Why?"

Johnny flinches at his tone, but Taeyong doesn't have it in himself to feel guilty. Johnny takes a step back, leaning against the back of his plush, leather couch. Taeyong follows him, afraid that Johnny will take this as an opportunity to run away.

When all Johnny does is shake his head, Taeyong feels himself reach the boiling point. "Why!" he shouts. Johnny doesn't flinch this time, but he does slowly lift his head and finally meets Taeyong's eyes. There's an emotion swimming in those dark eyes that Taeyong can't comprehend.

"You should leave, Taeyong." Johnny's eyes harden, and for a moment, the emotion that Taeyong saw disappears. He stands to his full height, ready to herd Taeyong out, but Taeyong steps closer and stands his ground.

"Answer my question, Youngho." Taeyong locks eyes with Johnny, not giving him an opportunity to look away. "Tell me why you're hiding away from me," he whispers, but with barely any distance between them, he knows that Johnny can hear each and every word.

Johnny takes a deep breath, and the sound echoes in Taeyong's ear, the air rushing against his skin. It's then that he realizes just how close they're standing to each other, their noses almost brushing against each other's.

"I want you," Johnny utters, and it sounds broken down and defeated. He closes his eyes, and Taeyong knows it's the truth. His heart hammers in his chest, but he doesn't step away, doesn't look away.

"Then why are you hiding?"

"Because I can't have you."

"Youngho." Taeyong reaches out to hold onto Johnny's arm, but Johnny pulls it away.

"No, you don't understand, Taeyong. I want you so much, in ways you can't even imagine. I—," Johnny clenches his fist. "The things I think about would make you run."

Taeyong shivers, and he's glad that Johnny doesn't see the reaction because he doesn't want him to misunderstand. He's not afraid of Johnny—nothing Johnny could ever do would make him run. Instead, it excites him.

"What do you think about?"

Johnny shakes his head. "Don't make me say it."

"Tell me, Youngho."

Johnny bites his lip, but Taeyong knows he'll give in. "I think about fucking you, tying you down to the bed, having my way with you." The more Johnny talks, the stronger and louder his voice gets. Taeyong feels heat pool low in his gut, and he has to hold onto Johnny to keep himself steady. "I want to make you scream in all kinds of ways, by biting you, spanking you, bringing you closer and closer to release but never really letting you topple over the edge."

"Tell me more." Taeyong closes his eyes and imagines himself in the situation that Johnny paints for him. "What do you do when you're here then?"

Johnny clamps his mouth shut at the question, and there's a guilt in his eyes that Taeyong knows all too well from watching old men look at their old wives after they've spent the night with a young escort. It's then that he sees the disarray in Johnny's living room, his clothes strewn all over the floor, a bloodied mess. The throws all haphazardly scattered away from the couch. The heat of arousal changes to one of anger, and Taeyong's not entirely guilty when he asks again, "Who did you do it with? Who was it? Who did you use as replacement for me?!

"No one!" Johnny shakes his head and looks away. "I mean, it's nobody, never the same person twice, no one I'll remember and someone who can get paid to keep their mouth shut, but, but," this time Johnny turns to meet Taeyong's eyes, but the guilt in them is clear. "No one who'll ever be able to replace you."

Taeyong takes a deep breath and tries to remember why he's here, why he's standing in front of Johnny, and why he shouldn't feel jealous, feel betrayed, because Johnny's not his, not yet at least.

"Youngho," he breathes. Taeyong grips Johnny's chin and keeps theirs eyes locked. "Promise me you'll never do that again." Johnny opens his mouth, and before an excuse can come from them, Taeyong adds, "If you promise me now, I'll let you do whatever you want to me."

"Taeyong, no." Johnny tries to shake his head, but Taeyong only tightens his grip.

"Youngho, listen to me," When Johnny has his eyes on him, Taeyong slides his fingers to caress Johnny's cheeks and smiles. "I love you."

"What," he shakes his head, but Taeyong keeps it steady with his hands, his thumbs stroking Johnny's cheeks.

"Believe me, if I didn't, I wouldn't be standing right here, angry, because I do, I really fucking do, Youngho, so please, please, just, don't do this anymore, don't run away from me, don't tell me I can't want you, because I do, and everything you wanted to do to me, I want that and more." Taeyong leans his head against Johnny's forehead and just breathes him in for a moment. _So close_ , he thinks. _I'm so close to getting what I want_.

"What about the family?"

"Fuck them," Taeyong whispers with a laugh. "Besides, I'm the boss. I can do whatever the fuck I want. You told me yourself."

For the first time that night, Johnny smiles. "God, you're beautiful." Johnny's hands find their way to his cheek and waist, pulling him in, closer and closer until Taeyong burns at Johnny's touch. "I can really have you?"

"Only if I can have you just the same."

"Yours, and only yours. Always."

"Good." Taeyong leans in, but before their lips can touch, he whispers, "Promise me."

"I promise."

Taeyong feels the heat of Johnny's lips, and then tastes the mint of his toothpaste. It feels surreal to taste the heat of his mouth with his tongue. He can barely remember what their first kiss felt like, but this kiss with Johnny electrifies him, bathes him in a warmth that he'll remember in the years to come.

Taeyong tangles his fingers in Johnny's wet hair, and then he remembers why Johnny smells so fresh, so clean, and he's overcome with burning green jealousy, needs to erase any lingering memories of the person he last slept with. He pulls away from their kiss and can't help the glare on his face.

"What's wrong?" Johnny asks, breathless, but his fingers and hands are busy trying to feel as much of Taeyong's skin as they can.

"Did you fuck those people here on this couch or on the bed?"

"Taeyong, what?"

 "The people you fuck," Taeyong almost shouts. "Where'd you fuck them?"

"I, on the couch, why?"

"Good." Taeyong stands up, pulling Johnny with him. "Let's do this on your bed." He smiles, a coy look that has Johnny tugging on his hand to lead them to his bedroom.

The bedroom is much simpler than Taeyong expected, with only a queen-sized bed in the middle, a dresser to the left and a door leading to what Taeyong assumes to be the bathroom on the right. It's practically bare, but Taeyong remembers its purpose. Johnny doesn't stay in this room to sleep, to rest, he stays in it to escape, possibly run away from him. _It's time to change that._

He pushes Johnny back until he's straddling Johnny on the bed. Shock colors Johnny's face, but Taeyong doesn't give him a second to waste before he's diving in for another kiss. Johnny seems to remember what they're supposed to be doing as his warm hands meet Taeyong's back, sliding through his shirt. Taeyong doesn't even notice when Johnny has untucked them.

"Take it off," Taeyong commands, one that Johnny quickly obeys. Johnny doesn't bother with the buttons of Taeyong's shirt, pulling it apart straight in the middle. Taeyong chuckles to himself as Johnny tries to pull off Taeyong's slacks. He almost laughs aloud at Johnny's haste, but the laugh turns into a gasp when he finds himself manhandled to the bed, Johnny hovering on top of him, hunger evident in his eyes.

Taeyong lies naked on Johnny's cold sheets, but he feels less exposed than he did at the beginning, feels warm and safe even with the hungry look in Johnny's eyes. He slides his hand down Johnny's toned chest, fingers tracing the pattern of Johnny's tattoo. It's a drawing of a dragon with its mouth open, as if to swallow Johnny's heart. Its body swirls and coils down around Johnny's upper arm, and its skin is drawn and stylized by English letters that read "Neo Family." Taeyong should have known what that meant a long time ago.

"What? You look like you've just seen my tattoo for the first time." Johnny smirks and slowly slides off his sweatpants.

"I just realized what it meant," Taeyong whispers, eyes following the movement of Johnny's hands as they pull down his sweats. Johnny's smirk turns into a sincere smile, and he reaches down to kiss Taeyong on the lips.

"I was yours the moment you said my name."

Taeyong's breath hitches, and he wraps his arms around Johnny just as he's fully naked, deepening their kiss and unwilling to let go. They pull away long enough for Taeyong to mumble a soft apology against his lips.

"What for?"

"Because even though your tattoo's about me, mine isn't entirely about you."

Johnny chuckles as he slides his hands to trace the patterns of Taeyong's tattoo. Taeyong can practically feel Johnny tracing the outline of the dragon's body as it swirls around three pillars. Three pillars to represent two of the family's most important principles, family first and brotherhood, and the third is a secret pillar he's never told anyone about that. He's just thinking about it when Johnny's fingers slide down the middle of his back, where the middle pillar is drawn.

"I know the family only has two principles, so is this third pillar me?"

"Yes," and Taeyong's barely uttered the words before Johnny swoops in for another kiss.

"Then that's enough," Johnny whispers in between the kisses. "Everything, you, are enough."

Taeyong doesn't think it'll ever be enough, but that's why he gives himself almost completely to Johnny, allows him to touch him in ways no one ever will, gives Johnny the privilege to unravel him and put him back together.

"I never thought this day would come," Johnny says, almost to himself, his hips rocking against Taeyong's, performing a dance that hypnotizes him. "Tell me what to do?"

Taeyong smiles. He combs Johnny's hair with his fingers. "You can do whatever you want to me, Youngho." He lifts his head closer until his lips are touching Johnny's ears. "Whatever you want."

Johnny shivers, and it's a thrill for Taeyong to feel it against his own body. Johnny's lips follow the path his own fingers trace, kissing up from Taeyong's chest to his neck, pausing to nibble on Taeyong's ears. Taeyong can't help but moan at the touch, feeling his own body heat up with each kiss that Johnny presses into his skin.

Taeyong makes a move to stroke Johnny's cock, but Johnny pins his hands down above his head. He smirks down at Taeyong as he grips them together with one hand. "Whatever I want, remember?"

Taeyong chuckles but relaxes into Johnny's hold, allowing Johnny's hand, lips and tongue to do as they please onto his body. Taeyong feels as if he's being eaten whole, with Johnny's tongue tasting every inch of him, occasionally taking a teasing bite. He arches into each and every touch, feeling himself grow harder and harder until it aches. But Johnny won't touch him where he needs it.

"Youngho," Taeyong cries out, desperate to be touched, needing to find release.

Johnny shushes him gently, trailing his tongue up Taeyong's leg until he's circling Taeyong's navel. "Trust me," he whispers against Taeyong's skin.

"Please."

"Just a little more," Johnny says, biting at Taeyong's toned stomach. He finally lets go of Taeyong's hands, and one of them immediately reaches for Johnny's head, grabbing at his dark hair, his other hand gripping the sheets. Taeyong tries to direct Johnny toward his cock, but Johnny's strong and doesn't bend to his will.

"Remember your promise, Taeyong." And Taeyong loosens his hold on Johnny's hair and takes a shaky breath. Johnny smiles at Taeyong's obedience. "Just a little more." He grabs Taeyong's thighs, pulling them apart before bending them down until Taeyong's bent almost in half.

"Wha—" Taeyong's cut off by his own moan as Johnny licks a long stripe up his entrance. "Youngho, no," he says, but even Johnny knows it's a half-hearted refusal.

"Just let me taste all of you, Taeyong," Johnny says, a mischievous smile on his lips, before he dives in to taste Taeyong once more.

Taeyong's eyes roll to the back of his head as Johnny's tongue works wonders on him. He briefly hears a clicking sound before feeling a finger prod at his entrance.

"Yes," is all he can moan out as Johnny starts using his finger and tongue in tandem. "More, please." Taeyong closes his eyes and focuses on the heat of Johnny's finger inside of him. He can't help but buck up into Johnny's slow rhythm. He wants more, needs more, and he knows he can take everything that Johnny's going to give him.

"Don't worry, just a little at a time." Johnny whispers into his thighs, biting and sucking marks. It takes forever before Johnny pushes in two fingers at the same time, but Taeyong loves the burn and feeling of it. He moves himself in time with the rhythm Johnny has set and cries out every time Johnny stretches him wider. He can't wait until Johnny pushes inside of him, knows that Johnny's cock is bigger and longer than any of his fingers.

"Just a little more," Johnny whispers. When he pushes in one more digit, he moves up to kiss Taeyong again, swallowing his moans and cries with it. His other hand ghosts over Taeyong's cock, and Taeyong almost cries into the kiss, but Johnny won't let him pull away.

Taeyong can't focus with the overstimulation, his body being pulled apart and threaded back together again as Johnny has his way with him. When Johnny kisses down his neck, Taeyong starts pleading, needing Johnny inside him, needing to come. And Johnny finally gives in.

"Look at me," Johnny says as he lubes up his cock, and Taeyong has to blink a couple of times to see him through the tears in his eyes.

"Yes, yes, yes," Taeyong whispers, anticipating the feeling of it. "Youngho, please, please, _please_."

"Youngho," Taeyong calls when Johnny finally presses his cock against Taeyong's entrance. He gasps as Johnny pushes in, inch by inch, and Taeyong takes it all, the size and heat of Johnny's length, the hitch of his breath as he stops himself from thrusting it in one go. Taeyong admires the furrow of Johnny's brow, the concentration mixed in with the pleasure. Taeyong moans when Johnny pushes all of himself inside Taeyong, the tip of his cock brushing against the bundle of nerves in him that makes him lose control.

Johnny leans down plants soft kisses all over Taeyong's face before finally landing on his lips.

"Why aren't you moving?"

"Waiting for you," is all Johnny tells him, massaging Taeyong's body with his hands and finally, finally wrapping a hand around Taeyong's cock. As he strokes up, Johnny slowly pulls out until only the head of his cock is left inside. He pushes back in, as slowly as he did the first time, and he starts out his rhythm like that, teasing Taeyong and slowly but surely picking up the pace.

"Youngho, faster, please," Taeyong cries, but Johnny's determined not to listen. Taeyong has tears in his eyes, and his cock's leaking against his stomach when Johnny finally picks up the pace. Taeyong wraps his arms around Johnny's back, fingernails leaving their marks.

Taeyong cries out Johnny's name as he hits his prostate with each thrust. Taeyong can barely thrust back, body tired from overstimulation and teasing; all he can do is hold on and let Johnny do as he pleases.

"I've got you, just a little more, yes, that's it, so good, Taeyong, you feel so good," Johnny says in response to every cry Taeyong makes. Taeyong can barely hear himself, but Johnny's voice resonates in his ears, bringing him closer and closer to the edge.

"Youngho, I'm so close."

"Okay, Taeyong, okay." Johnny captures his lips into a kiss and then his hand wraps around Taeyong's cock, tighter and harder than before. He follows the brutal pace of his thrusting, and Taeyong can barely scream or shout as he topples over, eyes blacking out with pleasure and body shaking uncontrollably. He doesn't even feel when Johnny pulls out to stroke himself to completion, coming all over Taeyong's stomach.

Johnny rubs their come all over Taeyong's stomach, a sick and twisted smile playing on his lips as he marks Taeyong. Taeyong looks into Johnny's dark eyes and smiles.

"All yours," he whispers through the haze.

"Mine." Johnny leans down, and Taeyong meets him halfway.

 

* * *

 

Taeyong looks at Johnny standing beside him and reaches out for his hand. Johnny smiles back and tightens his hold.

"Taeyong, what's going on?" his mother asks, seated to the right of his father. His father sits at the head of the table, eyes contemplative. His eyes keep traveling down to their hands and then meeting Taeyong's eyes.

"Father, Mother." Taeyong smirks at his parents. "I've decided that I'm not getting married, and with regards to an heir, I'm sure there are plenty of children in the family who have no ties that I can take under my wing. But I won't be taking a wife because I don't need one."

When Taeyong turns to meet Johnny's eyes, his parents know what he means, and so Taeyong doesn't elaborate any further.

"If anyone has something to say, they can always talk to my gun."

**Author's Note:**

> I would like to thank my betas [Ate Clara](https://archiveofourown.org/users/caramiro/pseuds/chittaphoned), [Louise](https://twitter.com/hyuklou) and [Sophie](https://archiveofourown.org/users/kieryna), without whom, this fic would be nothing. Also, lots of gratitude to [miia](https://archiveofourown.org/users/disappointed) because she heard me talk about this A Lot and was there for me through its inception, love you ♡. Thank you also to [isa](https://twitter.com/conejito_myeon) who never stopped believing in me ~~(if only because she'd get a jaedo out of this jkjk.~~ love you isa! 
> 
> if you have questions, concerns... uh... [send me a cc](https://curiouscat.me/suhrendipity)


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